Well when it comes to being a friend or spouse which one are you? Do you drain your significant others confidence and momentum or are you a fountain of encouragement and positivity?
(I, my & me do not refer directly to me but to the person working on their goals)
Ask yourself that and be honest with yourself. Do you offer calorie dense food to a friend who you know is busting her ass to lose weight, maybe order your buddy a beer when he gets up to take a piss because you think he wants one anyway? Maybe you do it with good intentions but you’re serving your own needs and truly not giving a fuck about your “friend’s goals”. Do you know how hard it is to do it on your own, without someone else trying to sabotage my goals? If I want a beer I will order a fucking beer! Most of the people who do this I have discovered have no clue what its like to work for things and hide behind trying to be polite….again we are all adults here. I get it. You don’t want me to miss out on “life” but will you say this at my funeral if I die from a heart attack at 45 because I ate like an asshole and you didn’t have the balls to put me in my place when I was 33….you could have saved my life. Will you be there to walk Sutton down the aisle because you were so selfish to keep offering a beer and you knew I needed to get healthy? No….because it makes you feel bad about your FUPA that I am bettering myself. These are typically the same people who look for a quick fix when it comes to fixing their issues…..they hate the work that is required to see real sustainable results. The backhanded comments are the jealously coming out, they know they cannot do what you are doing. So lets sabotage our friends because that’s way easier than feeling shitty about myself.
My god that felt good to write…My editor will give me feedback about using certain language but hey there’s a time and place.
Now the important stuff.
Ask yourself how can I help my wife/husband/girlfriend/boyfriend/friend/son/daughter/grandma/grandpa/mom/dad.
- Ask them how you can help them, if it’s not unreasonable DO IT
- Tell them you see how hard they are working, ask questions about their workouts, cardio, meals, etc. People like to talk about themselves when they are doing hard things
- If you are having a dinner party ask them if they have any preferences or let them know in advance so that they can plan their macros
- Plan activities that do not involve food
- Work on your own health for maybe that one night….it won’t kill you.
If reading this offended you, I hope it opened your eyes to what kind of “friend” you have been. If you read this thinking “My friends always order me a glass of wine and they know I am working on MY GOALS” stand up for yourself and be your own advocate. If you read this and say “Hey Ray, I got some more things you can add to being supportive.” EMAIL ME!
YOUR GOALS ARE YOUR GOALS!
If you are a size 12 and you want to be a size 2 or if you are a size 6 and want to be a size 2 thats your fucking goal, don’t let someone tell you its bad to want to look and feel a certain way. If you want to take your shirt off at the beach and carry a cooler full of beers and not have any jiggle (my goal) work your ass of for it. Do the work and wink at the asshole who doubted you…..